The glamour of parenting 

It’s midnight and I’m currently laid in bed with yesterday’s makeup on and baby sick in my hair. My little boy decided to vomit all over us both and my hair didn’t escape.. you’d think a bright idea would be a shower. Not for me! I’m not doing anything noisy enough to wake the kid up who’s poorly. This means I’m going to bed smelling of sick and with it stuck in my hair, best part is I don’t even care anymore. I’m not a glamorous mum, getting out of my pyjamas is usually my best achievement!!

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Where’s my sex drive?! 

Now this may sound like a silly post for a single mum. Believe me I feel silly thinking about it..

I’m definitely not getting any action. I haven’t had sex since October 2015, this isn’t just a dry spell it’s more Sahara desert. I was about 3 months pregnant when  I last had sex and my son is now nearly 11 months old. I’ve always had a very high sex drive, I used to be like a dog on heat every day! Since having my son I’ve spoke to a few guys I’ve met, I’m wanting a relationship again now. I understand my son is still young but I’m ready for the dating world. I was also still feeling frisky and up for it if the opportunity presented itself! For the past month though I have realised that my sex drive has plummeted, I think about having sex again and I just don’t care .. I think I’d rather sleep than get jiggy. I don’t know if it’s because of how long I’ve gone without or if this is normal when you have kids?! To be crude now ladies.. even the “self service” side of things has dwindled, I haven’t even bothered in a while. It’s bad enough feeling like a born again virgin never mind not even being interested in sex. 

All you ladies getting laid.. I envy you. Not only is sex a long way off I think but I don’t even think I’d be bothered if Ryan Gosling climbed into my bed. 

SOMEONE please tell me this will change again?! 

Growing to fast! 

So.. in the past 3 days my son has decided it’s now time to start pulling himself up on things. This is great but I’m ready to have a heart attack when he starts wobbling.. twice today he’s fell and bumped his head! Excuse me while I go dye my hair.. my child is sending me grey!!

Times go to quickly.

How did this happen… I have a 10 month old son!! that’s so crazy. I still look at him and forget he’s mine I’m not over the excitement yet! The reason for my absence is because my son had been poorly since birth so it’s been really tough. I’ll cover some of that later! I have time now he sleeps through!!! I’m still single and it has been rough but I’m loving every second, will be on the posting now!!

Induction & Labour Horror

On the 23rd of March I went for a scan, I was 36 weeks pregnant then. At a scan the week before they noticed he wasn’t growing as well and also I had low levels of amniotic fluid. They said wait a week and see what happens. I finished work to go on maternity leave on the 18th March so excluding the weekend I’d only had 2 days leave! I went back in and had my scan then had to sit and wait to see my consultant as usual. As soon as I was called in she told me she wanted me induced.. panic mode kicked in!! I was told to go straight to the hospital I was giving birth in 35 miles away and they’d be ready for me. I left there rushing around to get my case in the car, car seat in, had to go to flipping asda on the way out for last little bits. I laugh now but running around like a crazy woman when you’re the size of a house is hard work!

I got there and was given steroid injections straight away and put on a monitor. A midwife came and gave me a sweep and inserted the pessary they use to induce labour.. that really hurt might I add, ouch is an understatement!! Within 4 hours I started steadily contracting, they realised he was back to back as I couldn’t feel anything in my stomach,  just all agony in my back and down my legs. After 7 hours I was in a lot of pain but only 1cm, I was crying and telling them I thought it wasn’t supposed to hurt until like 8cm.. apparently you can be unlucky and suffer from 1cm, especially with early induction.

Midwife said I could have diamorphine (I loved that woman) so I went on the monitor for 10 minutes before she gave me it to keep an eye on him. She came back with the injection and before she could give me it all I heard was her telling me not to be alarmed as she pulled the emergency bell. Midwives everywhere unhooking everything and trying to get me up to labour ward, I found out when we got there that his heart rate had been dropping with my contractions. Luckily after moving around a bit he was ok again but a midwife sat with me watching the monitor for the next 6 hours while I had contractions to make sure. So after the trauma of the night before they gave me some more diamorphine and left me to get some sleep. When I woke up they came round and said they’d give me a 24hr break with no pessary to see how I got on. Nothing happened! Next morning they came round and sorted out the 2nd pessary to go in ( I was 3cm by this point) which hurt like a b**ch!! Some silly doctor decided to stick his fingers up there mid contraction and I very nearly kicked him in the face, not impressed. Long story short the next 24hrs I was in agony just trying to get through each contraction.

Saturday night came round and I wasn’t feeling baby move barely, he’d gone very quiet. A doctor came round and said I was 5cm but he wasn’t happy with babies movements. I was put on constant monitoring for 6hrs to see what was happening (midwife thought he was just tired because I’d been in labour a while and the induction process had taken nearly 4 days so far.)

7am on the 27th March. The monitor starts beeping a lot, doctor comes round and sees that baby was starting to get distressed, still ok but not liking it. He sits with me and tells me that it’s enough now and I need a c section to get him here safely. They had another emergency one go in so I went round and did consent forms etc. Also because we had a bit of time to wait I asked if they could try an epidural for me, I wanted to be awake to see him born. Luckily they got it in just as I was rushed through.

Being in theatre felt like forever. I was so tired I was nodding off because I was finally pain free. I just wanted a nap! After lots of tugging and pulling about I heard my consultant say he was bringing him out.. a high pitched cry echoed around the room and I felt my heart burst. I cried, my midwife cried. My anaesthetist was wiping my eyes with tissue!

My beautiful little boy born 27th March 2016 weighing 5lb 12oz. I named him Oliver and he is just too precious! He was about 30 minutes old in this picture (shame my hair was awful really!!) That day was the best day of my life, the day I became a mother.

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Baby is here!!!

World’s worst blogger award goes to me. I now have a beautiful baby boy who’s 9 weeks old. Getting to this point since my last post has been crazy. Single motherhood is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. How I’ve made it this far and kept my sanity is beyond me. I survive on coffee and pizza at the moment.. I have no shame! I’ve got dressed about 7 times since he’s been born, other than that I’m a pyjama girl. Labour and birth stories are coming up.. it was interesting to say the least!!